THE BIG WEDDING
Plot? Amanda Seyfried is getting married again! Though as we have learnt from Hollywood, the wedding’s not at all about the couple-to-be, but about everyone else and keeping up appearances. There’s the standard religious jab at having a Catholic ceremony in order to please some older relative, even though the couple aren’t practicing in their faith at all, as no doubt there’s some subplot of a shotgun marriage. Meanwhile the sister or sister-in-law (I don’t know who the main character is really supposed to be) is having her own relationship problems, probably having many and ‘woe is me’ moments throughout the film. Yet despite all the stress behind the upcoming event, Robert De Niro still manages to be in many sex scenes, which is most likely why this movie is a) rated MA15+, and b) attracting the attention of many, many old ladies. Seriously, they’re coming in droves.
Recommend it? Are you an elderly old lady? Then yes. As for everyone else, I’m not sure as of yet how much of a comedy this film is, and how much of it is just plain drama. I haven’t walked in on too many funny moments – things always seem a bit serious. Regardless, The Big Wedding is this month’s standard romantic film that women drag their men to. Personally I don’t see why you’d need to see this one on the big screen as opposed to DVD. It’s insanely popular though (has there just been a drought of romantic films and now suddenly everyone’s grabbing their fix?) so you’ll need to book ahead if you’re going to watch a night session. It’s all the old ladies gathering together for a night out to watch some De Niro porn, seriously.
THE COMPANY YOU KEEP
Plot? About two decades back some people manage to pull off a bank robbery. Now, when a reporter pressures them a bit, it suddenly dawns on the criminals that actions have consequences… such as Susan Sarandon going crazy.
Recommend it? Word on the floor is that the casting is a bit unbelievable. Robert Redford has a thirteen-year-old daughter? Please, he’s like grandfather age at least. Apart from that particular customer’s complaint, a lot of people have said it’s good. Indeed it does look like a good thriller/drama. Though if you had to choose between this or Olympus Has Fallen, go with Olympus. The Company You Keep, whilst a competent film, is just one of those movies you only watch at the cinemas once you’ve seen all the other good stuff. You could easily just wait for DVD with this one.
ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH (also in 3D)
Plot? An alien-run rescue agency (like The Rescuers, but without rodents, and with less obscurity) decides to respond to a call for help from… the Dark Planet, DUN DUN DUN (Spoilers – it’s Earth). So they send their leading rescuer, a muscular alien version of Beauty and the Beast’s Gaston. When things go wrong, his nerdy/weedy-looking and unadventurous brother goes in search of him.
Recommend it? It reminds me a lot of Megamind… though that might purely be because of the blue. Though the movie does have the same kind of attitude. To be honest, I do want to see this movie, though I probably won’t be able to get around to it, as frankly there are better films out right now. If you’re a parent and need to drag your kids to something, then this is a good choice. Sessions are disappearing fast, so see a morning session soon. 3D and animation looks good and polished.
EXHIBITION: MONET
Plot? A documentary on Monet’s life and artworks. Watch as the camera zooms in on the paint whilst a mysterious voice tells you all about it. Like going on an art exhibition tour, but this time you’re sitting down, eating popcorn…
Recommend it? If you’re into his artworks, then sure, why not? This movie has already left the cinema though – it was only a one-off session. I’m mainly just posting this to let you know that there’s other filmed art exhibition documentaries coming out soon, so check the website to see if there’s any classic artists coming up that you’d like to learn more about.
OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN
Plot? Harvey Dent is once again involved with the political world; emotionally distant from his family until a terrorist attack no doubt teaches him what is really important. Emotionally charged with stuff blowing up (it’s Washington’s turn this time – NYC is on Spring Break) and bullets, blood, politicians acting like action heroes… just everyone goes Rambo.
Recommend it? Yes. I have heard nothing but excellent things about this movie. People say it’s a good story with twists and turns, it’s action-packed, there’s ‘splosions!!! What more do you want? Rated MA15+ for excellence. It’s still drawing a bit of a crowd, so book ahead if you’re really picky about your seats, particularly for Friday and Saturday night sessions. Watch it soon as there’s not going to be many cinemas physically left over to show films other than Iron Man 3 and Star Trek: Into the Darkness.
THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES
Plot? Ryan Gosling is some kind of morally-bankrupt loser with bad tattoos, who resorts to a life of crime in order to provide stuff for the ones he loves.
Recommend it? You’re watching this because of Ryan Gosling. Believe it or not, but he’s not hot in this movie. Sorry.
So for the people who don’t watch a movie solely because they like to ogle the actors like a piece of meat, this film does look quite good. But seriously, who watches a drama at the cinemas? The big screens are useful for making explosions, action sequences, CGI and scary moments so much more engaging – straightforward dramas in contrast aren’t any less brilliant on a smaller screen. If you’re looking for a movie that’s not so mainstream, or a bit more intelligent that your average run-of-the-mill blockbuster hit, then this is a good choice. Rated MA15+ for I don’t know what yet.
STAR TREK: INTO THE DARKNESS (also in 3D)
Plot? After some difficulty, particularly with Spock, Captain Kirk manages to get his team together again for an ill-advised space mission. Turns out it really was a good idea of Kirk’s to get Spock re-instated, as his non-man efficiency is greatly needed for much ass-kicking. Seriously, I popped into the theatre and thought the film had just broken into Act 3, left to do something else, then five minutes later I saw the audience leave. Either I had made a wild assumption (never!) or Spock is just super efficient at wrapping everything up!
Recommend it? Of course! But if you’ve seen the first one, you’re going to see this one anyway, despite what I say. As expected, the special effects and production design looks great and so does the 3D (ok, for me it just looks blurry… but it’s a good blurry, you know? Oh whatever – you just can’t go wrong with 3D spaceships… or fistfights on top of spaceships). There’s no scene after the credits. Just leave. As for sessions, if this is anything like Iron Man 3, then everyone will see this during its first weekend, leaving the following weekend relatively dead. If you can wait a week (oh I know, I know, it’s just soooo hard, poor you) then you’ll get quieter sessions and better seats. A good candidate for Vmax/Imax.
The wrap for this week?
MY TOP PICKS: Oblivion, Olympus Has Fallen, Iron Man 3, Star Trek: Into the Darkness.
THE WORST: Scary Movie 5, The Big Wedding, Exhibition: Monet, Drift.
THE MOVIE THE OLD PEOPLE ARE SEEING: The Company You Keep, Olympus Has Fallen, The Big Wedding.
LAST CHANCE TO SEE: Identity Thief, Scary Movie 5, A Good Day To Die Hard, Warm Bodies, G.I. Joe: Retaliation.
MOVIES YOU REALLY NEED TO BOOK AHEAD: The Big Wedding, Star Trek: Into the Darkness, Olympus Has Fallen (only on Friday/Saturday nights), Iron Man 3 (only on Friday/Saturday nights).
Coming up next is The Great Gatsby and The Hangover Part III.
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